Guests call me selfish after I asked them to pay for Christmas party
A husband and wife have sparked debate after they received backlash over their annual holiday party.
‘This year, with money being a bit tighter, we’ve added some “stipulations” to attending the party.On the invites that we mailed out, we added that guests need to bring a dish with them to the party if they’d like to attend. We listed some potential dishes that they can bring, or they can bring their own creation. If not bringing a dish, the alternative would be paying $20 per guest, to help offset food costs.
‘Out of the 27 people we invited this year, there were 6 people (friends of my wife and I) who had an issue with this in particular.None of them ended up RSVPing and when my wife reached out, they said that it was selfish to expect a dish from guests, not considerate, etc.
A couple have been branded as ‘selfish’ after they asked guests to bring a dish to their annual Christmas party for coworkers, family, and friends
‘Reddit, are we a******s for making guests bring a dish to our soirée?’
More than 200 people have commented on the post to share their opinions, which have been divided.
While some people thought it was completely reasonable to have a ‘potluck’ party, others speculated over how the invite was phrased and raised the question, if they should be having a party if they couldn’t afford it.
Manty people were sympathetic towards the couple and said that they idea of a potluck was a good one, however, they warned them to remember that people have other financial obligations and time over the holidays is limited
One person commented: ‘Yeah I think that if they had maybe worded it differently or even been upfront about money being tighter, people would’ve been more understanding.Sometimes my friends and I either potluck or all cook together which is just as fun. That could’ve been an option.’
Another said: ‘Potlucks are so common, did you word it like that? I will say it would be a turn off to be asked to pay $20 to attend a get together I was invited to, so I’d decline, but being asked to bring a dish would be fine.’
A third person posted: ‘Yeah, make it a potluck and don’t demand anything.Sometimes it might be hard for someone to bring a dish, especially homemade (and meu during the “holiday season” people are often busy and perhaps working late), so you don’t worry about it if one or two people show up with nothing or just a bag of chips.’
And a fourth commented: ‘NAH but I wouldn’t have asked for the money.That turns a fun get-together into an event with an entrance fee. Just changing the name from “Holiday Party” to “Holiday Potluck” and asking guests to bring a dish would have been enough.
‘Perhaps if you explained to the people who didn’t RSVP why you made the changes, they might agree to come after all, but I wouldn’t count on it.’
Other people however, were quick to pick holes in the couple’s reasoning and told them it was unfair to expect people to bring a dish worth $20.
Some people were less sympathetic and one person said that they if they couldn’t afford to have a party then they shouldn’t be throwing one
Someone commented: ‘The money doesn’t even make sense because who is it going to?If 20 people are bringing a full tray of food, then it’s not like OP has to put any extra time or money into making sure the last 7 people get fed. so that’s $140 they just pocket under the guise of “contribution”‘
A second person posted: ‘Basically, you were just tactless and a little rude.Instead of making it a stipulation you should have sent out the invite to your potluck with a sign-up sheet attached and then all your needs would be covered.
‘Having 20+ people each bring something is A TON of food and seems like over-kill.Then you have the logistics of couples, etc. and it’s just weird to make it a requirement. Asking for money from anyone who didn’t bring food is also a bit odd, especially as I’m assuming the plan wasn’t to share that money with everyone else who brought food.’
While a third said: ‘I would love being given the paying $20 alternative.Much less headache for me. Haha.’
And some else said: ‘If you can’t afford a party then don’t have one.’
